Killing English-Very Funny

 Fun News, Funny, Joke Of The Day  No Responses »
Feb 012011
 

Killing English ……

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Principal to student…" I saw u yesterday rotating near girl's hostel pulling cigarette…? "

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Class teacher once said:" pick up the paper and fall in the dustbin!!!"

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Once Hindi teacher said…."I'm going out of the world to America…"

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"..DON'T TRY TO TALK IN FRONT OF MY BACK…"

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dont..laugh at the back benches…otherwise teeth and all will be fallen down…..

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It was very hot in the afternoon when the teacher entered… She tried to switch the fan on, but there was some problem.

and then she said " why is fan not oning" (ing form of on)

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teacher in a furious mood… write down ur name and father of ur name!!

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"shhh… quiet… the principal is revolving around college"

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My manager started like this "Hi, I am Madhu, Married with two kids"

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"I'll illustrate what i have in my mind" said the professor and erased the board

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"will u hang that calendar or else I'll HANG MYSELF"

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LIBRARIAN SCOLDE ," IF U WILL TALK AGAIN , I WILL KNEEL DOWN OUTSIDE"

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Chemistry HOD comes and tells us… "My aim is to study my son and marry my daughter"

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Tomorrow call ur parents especially mother and father

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"Why are you looking at the monkeys outside when I am in the class?!"

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Lab assistant said this when my friend wrote wrong code… "I understand. You understand. Computer how understand??

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Seeing the principal passing by, the teacher told the noisy class… "Keep quiet, the principal has passed away"

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"I have two sons…both are boys" !!

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Jokes Of Mr. Bean

 Funny, Joke Of The Day, Jokes  No Responses »
Dec 042010
 

  

1) BRAIN TUMOR:

Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have a brain tumor.

Mr. Bean: Yesss!!! (jumps in joy)

Doctor: Did you understand what I just told you?
Mr. Bean: Yes of course, do you think I'm dumb?

Doctor: Then why are you so happy?
Mr. Bean: Because that proves that I have a brain!

 


2) MR. BEAN WHILE IN GRADE SCHOOL:

Teacher: What is 5 plus 4?
Mr. Bean: 9

Teacher: What is 4 plus 5?
Mr. Bean: Are you trying to fool me, you've just twisted the figure, the answer is 6!!

 

3) WHILE IN A DRUG STORE:

Mr. Bean: I'd like some vitamins for my grandson.

Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C?
Mr. Bean: Any will do, my grandson doesn't know the alphabet yet!!


 

4) AT AN ATM MACHINE:

Friend: What are you looking at?

Mr. Bean: I know your PIN no., hee, hee.

Friend: Alright, what is my PIN no. if you saw it?
Mr. Bean: four asterisks (****)!


5) Marriage:

Friend: How many women do you believe must a man marry?
Mr. Bean: 16

Friend: Why?
Mr. Bean: Because the priest says 4 richer, 4 poorer, 4 better and 4worse.

6) CHATTING WITH HIS FRIEND:

Friend: How was the tape you borrowed from me, is it Ok?
Mr. Bean: What do you mean ok, I thought it's a horror film. I didn't see any picture.

Friend: What tape did you took anyway?
Mr. Bean: Head Cleaner..

7)DEATH OF HIS MOTHER:
Mr. Bean:(crying) the doctor called, Mom's dead.

Friend: condolence, my friend.

(After 2 minutes) Mr. Bean cries even louder
Friend: what now?

Mr. Bean: my sister just called, her mom died too!

8) MR. BEAN ATTENDING A MEETING:

Colleague: Sorry I'm late. I got stuck in an elevator for 4 hrs because of a power failure.

Mr. Bean: That's alright, me too…I got stuck on the escalator for 3 hrs.

9) Spelling lesson:

Mr. Bean's Son: Dad, what is the spelling of successful.. ..is it one c or two c?

Mr. Bean: Make it three c to be sure! 

A Joke – George at Mental Hospital

 Funny, Joke Of The Day, Jokes  No Responses »
Nov 302010
 

George and a Newfie feller were both patients in a mental hospital in St. John’s. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, George suddenly jumped into the deep end.

He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. The Newfie promptly jumped in to save him. He swam to the bottom and pulled George out.
When the medical director became aware of the Newfie’s heroic act he immediately ordered him to be discharged from the hospital, as he now considered him to be mentally stable.

When he went to tell the Newfie the news he said, “Newfie, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you’re being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another patient, I have concluded that your act displays sound thinking and judgment.

The bad news is, George, the patient you saved, hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he’s dead.”
The Newfie replied “He didn’t hang himself; I put him there to dry … So…how soon can I go home?”

FOUR FRIENDS AT A PARTY !!!!!!!!

 Analysis, Crazy Things, Fun News, Joke Of The Day, Stories  No Responses »
Sep 142010
 

Four friends, who hadn’t seen each other in 30 years,
reunited at a party.

After several drinks, one of the men had to use the rest
room. Those who remained talked about their kids.

The first guy said, “My son is my pride and joy. He started
working at a successful company at the bottom of the barrel.

He studied Economics and Business Administration and soon
began to climb the corporate ladder and now he’s the
president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his
best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday.”

The second guy said, “Darn, that’s terrific! My son is also
my pride and joy. He started working for a big airline, and
then went to flight school
to become a pilot. Eventually he became a partner in the
company, where he owns the majority of its assets. He’s so
rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his
birthday.”

The third man said: “Well, that’s terrific! My son studied
in the best universities and became an engineer. Then he
started his own construction
company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave away
something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his
birthday: A 30,000 square
foot mansion.”

The three friends congratulated each other just as the
fourth returned from the restroom and asked: “What are all
the congratulations for?” One of the three said: “We were
talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our
sons. …What about your son?”

The fourth man replied: “My son is gay and makes a living
dancing as a stripper at a nightclub.”

The three friends said: “What a shame…what a
disappointment.”

The fourth man replied: “No, I’m not ashamed. He’s my son
and I love him. And he hasn’t done too bad either. His
birthday was two weeks ago, and he received a beautiful
30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the
line Mercedes from his three boyfriends.  !!!!!!!!

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